Esquisses
Deux textes courts et percutants : Space cowboy et to love.
FULGURANCES LITTÉRAIRES
Gratien Lattes (insta : lattes.yves)
6/11/20264 min read
Space cowboy
I don’t react properly to feelings, but I do notice everythink. After all, noticing was my only way as kid to get the pattern, to label others feelings. Hold strange, it could be for a deep talk in speech competition, hold strange, it’s hard to understand deeply everyone, get them for who they are, be the ear of them, and still have nothing to offer. It seems out of a fairytale to be called gentle, kind or calm yet be me. After all, they are not that wrong, I deeply share my soul to others, for that they could give it colours.
I have no barrier in my heart, yet it’s empty. I have raised no extra obstacles to go to my heart. After the rain comes the rainbow, but after every rain is maintained a cloudy weather, how am I supposed to receive those colours.
It’s not like I am closed. I truly just want to have feelings as anyone. Are they too high for my mind to process them? Are they too low for my brain to recognize them? Are they inexistant to leave me as a robot? I have no idea. As a life lover, I see it too cruel...
to love
oh since when didn’t I have envy people on many things, and it’s worse with emotions. Do you guys know how hard it feels to live with instruction you don’t understand? I SO KNOW Oh poor guy, since kid never really get what have emotions feels like Do you guys know how strange it is to smile because it’s what you are supposed to; to cry because all the details that makes a moment sad is present; to choose emotions not by feel but by facts? I SO KNOW Oh to be and feel alive, to wake up with hope for your future to FEEL things!!! Do you guys know how much void you can have in you from never feel something outside when your people are with you; to see in the eyes of others what life with a proper heart feels like, and once they are gone your soul goes silent, do you know? I SO KNOW OH to love and to see yourself loved, the M.V.P of emotions, oh poor guy blind in front of the “said” most beautiful things in life Do you guys know how pity you get for yourself when you only can give time, gifts, caring to your beloved but not love, when you can’t see it yourself regardless of all the efforts, do you know? I SO KNOW oh suffering and void, the closest I can have for feeling the void, oh void you know too well from everyday, the suffering, oh suffering you get by the void.
The yearn for an unreachable goal
Well I firstly wanna say I think being in a relationship and loving someone vs being in love are separate things and people won’t truly understand what I mean by that until they’ve experienced it. Love to me is loving that person so much you’d do anything solely just to make their day even the slightest bit better. Not because you care but because you can’t imagine not doing that. Because every fiber in your body just wants them to be as happy and comfortable as possible. You’d do anything in your power to make their life as easy and beautiful as you can. It’s that feeling in your heart you truly can’t explain even if you write paragraphs the size of the bible you still feel there’s so much more you could say. It’s that feeling of need and want to constantly be with that person. It’s about wanting the best for that person even if that may not be you. It’s like wanting them to succeed and accomplish everything their heart ever wishes for. It’s like crying at videos of men proposing to their girlfriends online because the tiniest thought of that one day they’d get to marry, they’d get to get on one knee and ask the women you so dearly love to be apart of your life forever. It’s about loving someone even when things are difficult. There’s a difference between love and an unhealthy attachment and obsesión and I’ve felt both and love is so better. It’s about crying at night at the thought of that girl smiling it’s crying just because you get to experience life with that girl. No matter the age gap (legal ofc) no matter the distance. No matter the language barrier it all means nothing when you truly love someone. Relationships nowadays seem so rare to be good bc people are always like oh I don’t talk to girl for my gf and I don’t talk to guys when the truth is you can talk to the opposite gender. Even if you have trust issues don’t go through their phone. Talk about it. All relationships take are love,communication and resilience with some respect. People resent lust because people now only go in relationships for sex so girls start hating relationships thinking that what they experienced is normal when it’s not. lust and love can co exist when the love is real